He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
