is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
