I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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