Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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