Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
