Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
