69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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