Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
