Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
