If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
