Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
