Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
