so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
