The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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