I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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