just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
