just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
