plz talk dirty to me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
