He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Randomize