We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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