every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
