The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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