oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
