you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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