Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
