i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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