Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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