Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
