saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
