Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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