we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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