Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
