he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
