i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
