is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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