This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
