Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He passed out mid-signature
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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