I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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