Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
