You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
