Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
