I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
