so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
