y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
