I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
