So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My penis needs a shock collar
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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