If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
