waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
