Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
