it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
